Waiting for Wiidot
I don't know why, but this idea came to me while I was in the shower. Don't ask - I have no idea ;). My apologies to Samuel Beckett fans. (If you don't get it..)
Waiting for Wiidot
A tragicomedy in one act
A Wal-Mart parking lot. A bench. Night.
Estragon, sitting on the bench, is trying to warm up his feet.
(enter Vladimir)
Estragon: (giving up) Nothing to be done.
Vladimir: That’s what I’m saying.
Estragon: And might I inquire where you just went?
Vladimir: Behind the dumpsters at the back of the store, in the bushes.
Estragon: That’s disgusting you know.
Vladimir: Of course. But what else are we to do?
Estragon: You could wait. Like me.
Vladimir: Ah, how well is that working out for you?
Estragon: Not that well.
Vladimir: I doubt you’ll make it until they open in the morning.
Estragon: I have to.
Vladimir: It’s too much for one man.
Estragon: Suppose we gave up.
Vladimir: Now? It’s two in the morning; we’re half-way there. And we have a good spot in the line.
Estragon: What if they run out? Do we wait another week?
Vladimir: We don’t have anything else to do.
Estragon: So we wait until we get one.
Vladimir: Of course.
(enter Pozzo)
Pozzo: Cheerio!
Estragon: Are you handing out the Wii tickets?
Vladimir: He doesn’t look like a Wal-Mart employee.
Pozzo: The what tickets?
Estragon: Wii tickets.
Pozzo: You tickets?
Vladimir: No, we’re in line to buy the Wii, you see.
Estragon: ..and we thought you might-
Pozzo: In line to buy yourselves? I say, that sounds like a strange thing to do.
Estragon: Nintendo Wii.
Vladimir: It’s a game console.
Pozzo: A what? You’re making no sense.
Vladimir: I don’t think it’s us.
Estragon: Look, it’s just called Wii and we’re in line to buy it. At some point they said they were going to come around and hand out tickets to people in line.
Pozzo: I don’t have any tickets.
Vladimir: And you’re not in line?
Pozzo: No.
Estragon: Why are you here in the middle of the night?
Pozzo: How would I know?
Vladimir: You’re cracked.
Pozzo: Am I? You’re the ones waiting in a line to buy yourselves.
Estragon: No, the Wii is a gaming device -
Vladimir: Let’s just drop it.
Pozzo: Drop what?
Vladimir: Nothing, we were just confused.
Pozzo: I’ll say you were; I’ve never heard such boffo. Anyway, I’m off! Adieu.
(exit Pozzo)
Estragon: That was weird.
Vladimir: Maybe he’s been in line for a few days and just lost it.
Estragon: I didn’t see him when we walked by.
Vladimir: Or maybe he waited for a PS3 and didn’t get one.
Estragon: At least it passed the time.
Vladimir: It would have passed either way.
Estragon: Yes, but not so rapidly.
(Long silence)
Estragon: How much longer?
Vladimir: Still six hours.
Estragon: I’m so bored I could hang myself.
Vladimir: Do it.
Estragon: What would you do?
Vladimir: Laugh.
Estragon: I knew it.
Vladimir: Do you hear something up ahead?
Estragon: I believe I do.
Vladimir: I think they’re handing out the tickets for the Wiis.
Estragon: It’s about time.
(enter Wal-Mart Employee)
Employee: .. 52 .. 53 .. 54. (stops)
Vladimir: What about us?
Employee: That’s it.
Estragon: But we didn’t get tickets. Where are the rest of the tickets?
Employee: We only got 54 Wiis delivered. You’re number 55.
Vladimir: But the other lady said you had 75.
Employee: The day manager? She’s a little flaky. I counted them. 54.
Estragon: How could you only get 54? That’s not even a round number.
Employee: I just work here.
Vladimir: But we have to get one! We’ve waited all night.
Employee: We’d still have the same number of Wiis if you’d waited a year.
Estragon: This is crazy! Off by one.
Employee: You could try the Beaverton store. Or wait until we get another shipment next week. Sorry.
(exit Wal-Mart Employee)
Estragon: Should we wait?
Vladimir: Are you nuts?
Estragon: I will be if we don’t get a Wii.
Vladimir: You could hang yourself.
Estragon: (looks up at light pole) I could, you know. In fact, I think I will. (gets up, takes off belt)
Vladimir: Is it long enough?
Estragon: I think it is. (pants fall off)
Curtain.
November 21st, 2006 - 22:38
Dewar was right–you really do have too much time on your hands! (: